Carol Dweck vs. Susan Cain: Change or Not to Change?
[March MINDness] - Mindset vs. Quiet
This is the first round of March MINDness, a bracket tournament for self-help authors and books. Smarter Region: 8th seed vs 9th seed.
If William Shakespeare were a 21st century guru, I bet he would not write “to be or not to be.” It would 100% be “to change or not to change.”
In a famous bit, comedian Bill Burr complained about women wanting to fill all their free time with stuff to do, like a Sunday brunch, while men just want to sleep in and do nothing.
It’s laugh-out-loud funny, but have you thought about the deeper question: was Bill Burr right?
Should he push himself outside his comfort zone because the possibilities are infinite? Or should he accept who he is, shove every syllable of that suggestion back in the suggester’s mouth, and call it a day?
This question sits at the center of modern self-help discussions: change yourself vs accept yourself. And it’s at the center of the battle between the Smarter Region’s 8th seed: Carol Dweck and 9th seed: Susan Cain.
Carol Dweck – Mindset
The Stanford psychologist first wrote Mindset in 2006, with a 2nd edition in 2016 (which qualified her for this tournament). Her idea is simple – people either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.
Top ideas:
Fixed mindset people dodge challenges to protect who they think they are. Growth mindset people chase challenges because struggle is where growth lives.
Praise effort, not talent. Tell a kid “you’re so smart” and you create fragility. Tell them “you worked so hard” and you create resilience.
Relationships, business, parenting, sports – every domain bends to whichever mindset you carry into it.
You’re not stuck in one. You can shift. That’s the whole point.
The real danger of a fixed mindset isn’t that you fail. It’s that you stop trying, so you never have to find out.
The growth mindset idea is so deeply ingrained in our culture that you hear it in every realm. I once praised my son “you are smart,” then realized it’s a cardinal sin of Growth Mindset, and was so sure I messed him up for life and went into depression for 4 days.
Susan Cain – Quiet
Susan Cain is a former corporate lawyer turned author and speaker. Her 2012 TED talk describing what it’s like to be an introvert is one of the most viewed ever with 40M+ views. (Mine only has 11M views… what’s wrong with me? 1. Why can’t I be like Susan? 2. Why am I jealous over this? I need help).
Top ideas:
Introverts recharge through solitude, and being around people drains their battery. Extroverts recharge through social interaction, and being alone drains theirs.
Schools, workplaces, and culture all worship the Extrovert ideal – open offices, group brainstorms, “leadership presence.” The whole world is designed for the loudest person in the room.
But introverts are better at deep work, careful listening, creative problem-solving, and leading teams that actually think for themselves.
Rosa Parks, Einstein, Chopin, Dr. Seuss – quiet people who changed the world without being loud about it.
The goal isn’t to become extroverted. The goal is to stop pretending you need to be.
Cain gave permission to 1/3 to 1/2 of the population to identify and accept their introversion, and thrive by being who they are rather than who others tell them to be.
The Comparison
Dweck would tell Bill Burr that not wanting to go to brunch is just a limiting identity. Cain would say feeling the need to go is what’s really limiting. Dweck tells Burr he can learn to enjoy and master networking. Cain says the most magical conversation Burr can have is with himself. Dweck tells Burr to also go to a movie after the brunch. And Cain tells Burr she’ll strangle Dweck with her introverted hand herself if she says one more word.
For Burr himself? He probably films the next Netflix special with five more rants about women telling him what to do.
So who was right?
I’ll leave that to you with your vote.
My Vote
But that doesn’t mean I have no opinion of my own. To tell you the truth, this one hits home. Because I am a very introverted person. To write my book, I frequently go on writing retreats in a small town in Japan near Mt. Fuji for weeks at a time. During those visits, I don’t talk to a soul other than ordering food. And I’m as happy as Hello Kitty. (Japan is heaven for introverts, by the way. You can be there forever and not a single stranger would bother you.)
However, I have repeatedly used the growth mindset, not to reshape myself, but to build tools to augment myself. In these articles, I talked about:
So in a way, I agree with both Dweck and Cain. I fully accept who I am, but use any gap between my personality and my situational needs as opportunities to build tools for self-augmentation.
In fact, March MINDness itself is me embracing my (very) weird self, but using growth mindset to expand it to something new and fun.
Now for this vote, with a heavy heart and streaming tears, I vote for Dr. Dweck. Not because I want to, but because I have to.
Actually, stop this melodrama. Just vote with confidence. Growth Mindset y’all!
My vote goes to Carol Dweck and Mindset.
Definitely Dweck... I think about fixed v growth mindset constantly1
What a great idea. This is Jia Jiang in top form!